Aya's ears
by Seraphim Grace
Summary: A Crossover with Loveless, Aya has lost his ears, comedy, complete
1. Aya's ears

Aya's Ears

Ficlet for nekonomizu,

A cracky crossover of Loveless and Weiss Kreuz because she couldn't make up her mind which she preferred, and you know me, I'm game for anything.

Aya still had his ears.

It fascinated Yohji. Ken had had his until just after the Kase fiasco when he had gone out on his bike and come back with out them, leading Yohji to tease him about "really loving" his bike.

Yohji was also pretty certain that Omi's ears came off at night and was actually a headband. He knew such things were available though he himself had been delighted at the loss of his ears, and was glad to see them go.

But Aya still had his ears.

He was also in no way embarrassed by the fact that he was twenty-one years old and still had his ears, and the cutest little tail that brought attention to what had to be the cutest tail in all of Tokyo.

Once he had snuck up behind where Aya was sat on the mission room sofa engrossed in a book and tweaked them, to see if like Omi's they came away. They didn't.

It meant one thing.

Aya still had his ears.

Although Aya was stunning, and he really was, though his personality was reason enough for him to still have his ears, lovely silky red ears the same colour as his hair.

Yohji was fascinated by Aya's ears. They bristled when he lost his temper and were often a better indicator of his mood than his expressions. He could mask his emotions on his face but couldn't stop his tail lashing or his ears flicking.

In fact Aya was the most like his code name of them all, a cold aloof cat who stretched himself out on the sofa in a long sinuous black line sipping his tea and reading his book secure in the knowledge that in past lives he had been worshipped as a god.

So it came as a surprise when one morning when Aya came down to the kitchen and his ears were gone. Yohji would have bet his life that Aya would have died an old man with his ears, and sometimes you saw them about Tokyo, old priests with grey ears and balding tails. He could have sword Aya would be one of them.

Neither Ken nor Omi noticed the difference, even when Aya reached out and adjusted Omi's headband for school under the pretence of straightening his hair, and flicked out the paper.

"Do you know," Yohji said later in his shift, "it's common in some countries for a girl to save her ears and give them to the love of her life." It was a simple enough opening for conversation. Omi was at school and Ken making deliveries.

"Really?" Aya said.

"Yes," Yohji said, "they preserve them in a special oil and keep them, and then give them to the man they marry as a sort of wedding gift, that's if they lost them beforehand."

"Interesting." Aya answered, but didn't rise to the bait.

There was a small period of silence before Yohji cracked under the strain, "come on, Ayan, you got laid, you've got to give me details."

Aya just raised his chin with a slight smirk and wandered to the back room, proving that he may have lost his ears and tail but Aya was still very much a cat.


	2. Nagi's ears

Nagi's ears

Nagi still had his ears. It was one of the things in the world that Crawford could depend on. Nagi had had a very hard life. He had lived on the streets. He had lived in a catholic orphanage. Then Schwartz had taken him in and Crawford had been fanatical in protecting him under the flimsy pretence of the welfare of the team. But there was not a day that went by that Crawford was not glad that Nagi still had his ears.

So that day when Nagi got up, in his little batman pyjamas and spider man underoos, because he was very small and it was the only way to get clothes to fit him, rubbing at his eyes still half asleep Crawford simultaneously swore, cried out and dropped his coffee cup.

Nagi didn't have his ears.

Nagi didn't notice, he just yawned and popped his microwave porridge on heat and scratched his ass as he levitated a glass for juice. "Whuh?" He asked finally as the other three just stared at him.

Schuldig went pale and jumped up from the table, "it wasn't me." He screamed running and locking himself in his room.

"Whuh?" Nagi repeated as the microwave dinged behind him.

Farfarello realised that Schuldig's hasty retreat had left him the prime candidate. "Oh sweet Jesus." He said and jumped under the table out of the path of Crawford.

Nagi actually started eating his microwave porridge, he claimed the radiation gave it extra flavour, before Crawford managed to move again. He hadn't blinked in the meantime.

"Your ears." He stammered finally.

Nagi carried on shovelling in his chocolate flavoured porridge, which resembled steaming wallpaper paste. "Whuh?" He said through the brown slime in his mouth.

"They're gone."

"No, they're not." Nagi said, scraping his bowl clean.

"Yes," Crawford repeated, "they are."

Nagi patted around on the top of his head, "now how the hell did that happen?"

The rest of the day was spent in a type of frenzy as Crawford checked every available entrance for signs of an intruder, Nagi's sheet swith an ultraviolet light for signs of anything and Nagi's head for signs of scarring.

He found nothing.

He made an appointment with the doctor who suggested that "sometimes this happened" even without sex. He ran all sorts of tests, mentioned a cancer victim in America who had had them mysteriously fall out and grow back. He gave him a headband that almost matched his hair with a pair of velveteen ears to hide the fact, but the doctor was clearly of the opinion that Nagi had gotten laid.

Crawford just glared at him. Nagi never was given a chance to explain.

The Esset telepath wasn't any more helpful, he could neither explain the phenomenon nor coax Schuldig out, though he did insist that he hadn't done anything to the boy.

Crawford was getting stressed. White hairs were appearing on his temples.

He randomly shot at Todt who couldn't figure out why this time.

He launched himself at Omi on the street. Omi who had just been grocery shopping ran away so quickly all that Crawford caught was his headband.

He would destroy Weiss, he would kill them all, well except Ran, but other than that.

It was Ran who finally figured it out; they were discussing the rather touchy subject of Nagi's ears. "Schwarz have a link, don't they?" He said as he lay in Crawford's lap as Crawford stroked his hair just as he used to stroke his ears. "Well remember just how much you can do before you lose your ears." It was a little playful as he said it, "and we did the night Nagi lost his ears, it was the night I lost mine, remember."

"I don't follow." Crawford repeated.

"Well, if Schuldig picked up on me losing my ears perhaps Nagi picked up on it in his sleep, maybe the same chemicals released in my brain were released in the rest of Schwarz."

"You mean like that girl in Britain who ate all that chocolate and her ears fell off?" Crawford had been researching the subject after all.

"Exactly," Ran said gently, "if chocolate can release the same chemicals and his body thought he was going through it, because Schuldig linked you all, then maybe his body reacted and that's why his ears fell off."

Crawford went grey, "you mean, I did it?"


	3. Crawford's ears

Third Loveless crossover (and possibly the last)

I'm rating this one for suggestions. R/15

For some reason it fell upon a generation of older men to buy headbands and the other accroutrements that teenagers used to hide the fact that they had lost their ears.

Because of this, or most likely capitalising on this, there was a section in most sex shops although the items could be bought legally over the counter in most chemists. It was just less embarrassing in the sex shop.

The headbands were designed to be worn for long periods of time, they were lined in a soft velvet but because they were worn for hours at a time they had a tendency to rub sores in the worst cases but in most cases it just gave cradle cap.

So the pharmaceutical companies had developed creams and powders to cope with it. They sat on the shelf between the lubricants and the cock rings.

Yohji was no stranger to sex shops and he couldn't understand why people were embarrassed about purchasing things for their pleasure. He himself was torn between a platinum rabbit and a rather intriguing little device shaped like a dolphin when the figure in the trench coat walked in. It was such a cliché he burst out laughing. The figure just balled up a little more to make his collar cover even more of his face.

It would have worked quite well if Yohji hadn't known who he was.

Crawford looked more uncomfortable in a sex shop than a condom salesman in the Vatican.

He shuffled over to the display of head powders and creams before picking a dark brown headband, one bottle of powder and a tube of medicated cream for sores before shuffling over to the counter.

The sales person had snuck off for five minutes for a crafty cigarette secure that everything was security tagged before doing so.

"So," Yohji said, sidling up to Crawford, "imagine meeting you in a place like this, I thought it would be Schuldig."

Crawford, to his credit, tried to deny everything. "I'm sorry sir, I think you have me mistaken for someone else."

Yohji almost laughed. "come on," he said, "so who you buying this shit for?" He looked at the items in Crawford's hand, including a dark brown set of ears, "oh-my-god," he managed in a breathless rush, "they're for Nagi."

Crawford didn't appear to move as he put his hand around Yohji's throat, "Say a word and I'll kill you."

"What is the kid now, nine?"

"Fifteen." Crawford growled. "And they just fell off. It happens."

"Kid's got a girlfriend." Yohji shrugged off, "I never thought of telling my mom that they just fell off, but kid's legal, barely, the legal age in Japan is 14, but whatever floats your boat, I like 'em to be eighteen and willing."

"I suppose that explains your penchant for antique furniture." Crawford replied, "and I am not sleeping with Nagi."

Yohji shrugged off the insult because he didn't really get it, "the blue box stuff is better, it's what Omi uses." He said taking the box out of Crawford's hands and replacing it, "the bands rub behind the ears."

Crawford thanked him because at least it was well intention. "D'ya know," Yohji continued as he picked up several packets of batteries, "Aya lost his ears recently too, you don't think they're having sex?"

If Crawford had have been drinking he would have done a spit take.


End file.
